Saturday, 30 April 2011


Sometimes it's very hard to understand those idiots who make mobile phones. For years they are pushing us useless shit - a glaring example is MMS. How many times in your life did you actually used MMS? I can tell you how many times i did. Two. In my enfire fucking lifetime. And it wasn't something i couldn't live without.

But this indicates a more global problem. These guys try very hard to make sure we believe we actually need all that stuff - MMS, GPRS, EDGE, UMTS, HD-cameras, MP3-ringtones, gigabytes of storage, big screens... Who the fuck needs all that stuff?! I can understand having connectivity on the phone, but camera? Video playing? No one in their right mind will watch movies on a small ass screen and actually enjoy the experience. No one will ever be able to take good photos with a phone camera, let alone video. No one with self respect will ever listen to music on mobile phone without headphones - and all those stupid MP3 ringtones sound so lame and make owners of those phones look lame too.

The problem is, the phones don't have a target audience. In my view, there are several types of users with drastically different goals and use cases. The first one is old people, and this is often the category of users left out by modern technology. Old people don't give a fuck about camera, or MP3 ringtones, or gigabytes of storage, or games - there are a lot of things, really. All they care about is BIG BUTTONS, BIG BRIGHT SCREEN and ease of use. There is a reason why they wear glasses, after all. Such a phone should not be small (i.e. easily lost), should be as loud as possible, and should contain absolute minimum of functionality - address book (without all those "home number" shit - just name and number), SMS, Bluetooth and some MIDI ringtones. That's fucking it - a phone like this will be VERY popular in older people circles. And not only that, there is a group of people that are not old but still don't give a fuck about all those technologies.

Another group of people is technocrates like me. We want all to the maximum - processing power, connectivity options, GPS, RFID/NFC, camera etc. And a shitload of battery power. Here also fall the business people who need a phone as a workhorse. And a third group of users are cheapskate facebook-inhabiting assholes who need something in between.

Now the bi gquestion is - why do we need a hundred of cheapskate models? Why do all phones necessarily need to be lighter and with a cheesy design? Take a look at Apple phones - they actually have one. It is well designed, it is suitable for a wide range of needs, and it is heavy enough so you can actually feel it in your hand. I want to feel my phone. I want it to be performant and unrestrained. If there was a phone that was solid and well made like and iPhone, and with Android OS - a LOT of people would buy it. And it will be successful. It will literally own the market. Like iPhone does.

Fucking idiots. Don't make millions of models which are same shit in different casing - make a couple "old people" models, a couple of "hi-end" models, and a few cheapskate models. If they work well - people will recommend them to friends and buy the new models when old ones are broke. The market will be owned by whoever gets the "less is more" idea first.

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